CHRISTian Living

When you make the conscious decision to live for Christ... Wholeheartedly and wholly in spirit, many things take place. One of which is the filling of the Holy Spirit in whichever form God sees fit for you. I often say that one of my gifts is discernment and it bears fruit in my life... Another is counsel as strangers feel comfortable offloading their lives on me and I'm able to witness to them.... Another unconventional gift is conviction... I view it as a gift because I'd rather be whipped daily by the Spirit than to burn eternally due to ignorance. Conviction quickens your spirit into submission and flesh into repentance. Right now, I'm dealing with the conviction of harboring unforgiveness in my heart about a lot of things. I'm also dealing with other sins that are hard for me to relinquish... Yet I know that it'll be God who has the power to remove those things but I must first surrender ALL to Him. It's a scary thought to give up total control... I'm so hellbent on "making it" that I sometimes forget to just live. I forget to be thankful for life daily. I forget to be grateful for the little things that mean a lot once they are gone. One of those areas is in my relationships with my parents. It's no secret that both have been quite a journey. I've often felt neglected and forgotten by my dad because it always seemed like he went on with life and it was good, no matter the struggle my mom and I endured. I felt like he chose his new family over me over and over. I still feel that way sometimes these Days. I feel as though I don't fit into his every day life and that it's only on special occasions and holidays that my little family matters. My grandma Dorothy helped me when I began to feel that way and I believe she was a mediator and liaison between my dad and I... For that I truly miss her presence in our lives. With my mom, as I acquired more education I began to feel smarter and wiser than her. I began to be critical of her life choices and feel like the adult dealing with a child. As of late God has whipped me in both situations. I cannot be accountable for others actions... #1. #2 I'll NEVER have more wisdom than my mother. Is she perfect? No but neither am I. We have disagreements but deep down I know that if anyone has my back 1000%, it's her. And I have hers as well. People form opinions of things they witness but that's ok. That's my mother. Same way for my father. I cannot allow perception to influence our relationship because we only get one in a lifetime. But like I said, I'm growing in that and dealing with that as God convicts me of things. There are others who have wronged my husband and I over the years that I still harbor some resentment towards... Won't go into detail but it's there and I'm praying daily that God removes that ungodliness from my heart. It is not of him to be unforgiving. I cannot proclaim His name and not be in his image completely. That's hypocrisy. I've learned that if you do things as unto the Lord, all bases are covered. So I'm learning to LOVE others as unto the Lord. So there are no conditions, there are no pretenses, there are no requirements or stipulations. It is just pure, unadulterated love. And Love covers a multitude of sin according to 1 Peter 4:8... I must let it all go and allow God to do the work in me and therefore I can do the work that I believe he has called me to do...

LiveLoveLife,

Mo