.... It's our anniversary

well today is the 4th anniversary for my husband and I. It's kinda cool. As I lie here at 12:50am I can't help but think how I get mixed emotions each year. I never got to have the dream wedding. I didn't have a traditional upbringing so my dad didn't give me away at this grand festivity. Heck, he didn't even pay for it! And I find that I harbor ill feelings about it. But thank God for Jesus... I've come to terms with those emotions and am able to pray my way out of it. And first I have to forgive my dad. So there it is. But baby just wait on year 10... The dream will manifest itself. My dress is in my mom's closet (if anyone wants to buy it, lol) #shamelessplug But really, all things work for my God because I love and serve God... It's well! 😘

CHRISTian Living

When you make the conscious decision to live for Christ... Wholeheartedly and wholly in spirit, many things take place. One of which is the filling of the Holy Spirit in whichever form God sees fit for you. I often say that one of my gifts is discernment and it bears fruit in my life... Another is counsel as strangers feel comfortable offloading their lives on me and I'm able to witness to them.... Another unconventional gift is conviction... I view it as a gift because I'd rather be whipped daily by the Spirit than to burn eternally due to ignorance. Conviction quickens your spirit into submission and flesh into repentance. Right now, I'm dealing with the conviction of harboring unforgiveness in my heart about a lot of things. I'm also dealing with other sins that are hard for me to relinquish... Yet I know that it'll be God who has the power to remove those things but I must first surrender ALL to Him. It's a scary thought to give up total control... I'm so hellbent on "making it" that I sometimes forget to just live. I forget to be thankful for life daily. I forget to be grateful for the little things that mean a lot once they are gone. One of those areas is in my relationships with my parents. It's no secret that both have been quite a journey. I've often felt neglected and forgotten by my dad because it always seemed like he went on with life and it was good, no matter the struggle my mom and I endured. I felt like he chose his new family over me over and over. I still feel that way sometimes these Days. I feel as though I don't fit into his every day life and that it's only on special occasions and holidays that my little family matters. My grandma Dorothy helped me when I began to feel that way and I believe she was a mediator and liaison between my dad and I... For that I truly miss her presence in our lives. With my mom, as I acquired more education I began to feel smarter and wiser than her. I began to be critical of her life choices and feel like the adult dealing with a child. As of late God has whipped me in both situations. I cannot be accountable for others actions... #1. #2 I'll NEVER have more wisdom than my mother. Is she perfect? No but neither am I. We have disagreements but deep down I know that if anyone has my back 1000%, it's her. And I have hers as well. People form opinions of things they witness but that's ok. That's my mother. Same way for my father. I cannot allow perception to influence our relationship because we only get one in a lifetime. But like I said, I'm growing in that and dealing with that as God convicts me of things. There are others who have wronged my husband and I over the years that I still harbor some resentment towards... Won't go into detail but it's there and I'm praying daily that God removes that ungodliness from my heart. It is not of him to be unforgiving. I cannot proclaim His name and not be in his image completely. That's hypocrisy. I've learned that if you do things as unto the Lord, all bases are covered. So I'm learning to LOVE others as unto the Lord. So there are no conditions, there are no pretenses, there are no requirements or stipulations. It is just pure, unadulterated love. And Love covers a multitude of sin according to 1 Peter 4:8... I must let it all go and allow God to do the work in me and therefore I can do the work that I believe he has called me to do...

LiveLoveLife,

Mo

Shut up and talk!

Mother's Day church service was very good and God really spoke to my heart and the heart of my husband. You see, we are the type of folks that like to shout from the mountain tops when God blesses us or something. Well, we are now aware that other people don't always see those praise reports as such. Sometimes people see it as bragging and become offended by it thus we lose our "witness" of Christ. In order words, once the person becomes offended by what we are saying, they will probably turn a deaf ear to us... so the message of Christ's blessings is never conveyed. That is a VERY powerful revelation. Sometimes you just have to SHUT UP and allow your light to shine and your life to TALK to folk instead. The best decision we have ever made as a couple is to serve God. When I say serve, I mean wholeheartedly. We don't just attend church on Sundays and post a status here or there and believe that is sufficient. No, we pay tithes and we participate. We engage with our fellow Christians and most importantly, we seek counsel of the GODLY on things that we are confused about. There is nothing worse than talking to someone who has not been where you are, may not be going where you are going, or who has failed at whatever it is you are trying to accomplish. Although, the latter of the 3 may be beneficial in guiding you away from potential mishaps. Don't always think of failure as a negative thing. I've failed plenty of times at multiple things and so has my husband, sheesh! But the beauty of it is that you learn from that. I've learned that prayer is my number one tool for life. I literally pray without ceasing. It isn't always a long, drawn out, Holy Ghost shouting event either. Most of the time it is something as simple as a "Thank you Lord" for whatever reason. I challenge you to try it. Start with saying grace prior to eating... a simple "Thank You Lord for this food you have provided for me". No joke, it's just that simple. Now, this blog didn't start as a tool to witness for Christ, but be that as it may, when you are walking with God and you've given your life to Him...EVERY thing you do will bring glory to His name.... so remember...just SHUT UP AND TALK!


LiveLoveLife,
<3 Mo

Currently...

Haven't posted in a while. School is OUT for the summer so I'm here now. Just completed my 2nd semester of NP school and I'm very blessed to say it was a success. It was very overwhelming at times but GOD! Now I can enjoy my days and work my nights (I'm a nurse by the way) as needed.

OAN: I'm on a weight loss, bikini body fitness kick right now. My husband says I'm so back and forth lol but it's true! But for now, I'd like to wear a swimsuit this year at the beach! 3 week countdown. I'm eating healthier and also working out 4 times a week at BR Krav Maga studio doing kickboxing and stuff. I'm also walking 5 miles per day when I can as well sooooo I should reach my goals!

Oh yall I HATE when people have opinions but not options! But that's a whole post within its self! I pay attention to everything and not much gets by me... I'll talk about that next time

LiveLoveLife,
Mo

FYI, this blog doesn't have structure on purpose! I'll post random thoughts as they come. So much so that even this post was a compilation of randomness based on FB posts, group texts, etc! Enjoy! Feel free to comment... 

Hello!

So yea, I'm new to this blog stuff. I just figured what better way to vent or grow than to write. Then I thought, why not share it with other people because you never know who needs to hear something you may have to say. So then... THIS HAPPENED! Ok, about the name?! Yea, I just chopped my hair about 2 weeks ago so that's the brilliance behind the name. Nothing major. Oh yea, "disclaimer" I'm not setting out to be grammatically correct... It's a blog, not a dissertation. Ok. That's done.

Again... WELCOME and I hope you enjoy a glimpse into my mind and world :-)

LiveLoveLife,
Mo